So busy this week!

Starting this week I have been on a fitnes program to try and get rid of my love handles and feel better about myself. Most of what I have been doing is running and jogging every morning, but soon I should be starting a boxing course. I was a good boxer in my school days and have always wanted to get back into it… I guess this is a perfect time now.

I have also been reading up a lot some subjects I shall be writing about in the next few weeks. It is amazing that no one else has tried to look into all the coruption in Social Services and Child Services! The amount of things that are kept hush hush is unbeliveble!!!

Most of my spare time is used in talking to some friends who I have been trying to help out with court cases. I am also looking into joining up with a big online company to try to do some work for sick children all around the world (Its not a 100% confirmed yet).

I just thought with all the e-mails I have been getting this is the best way to let you all know. I know I will be very very busy over the next few weeks so will not have much time to talk or spend time online.

Anyway, talk to you all soon! Catch me on Gtalk when you see me.

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My children are pawns in a never ending game

So much has happened to me over the years and it is really hard for me to see what my life used to be like. When me and Steph split up 2 years ago, it was a real hard time for me. I was without my children and lost everything I owned. I was lucky enough to have a amazing new partner who made dealing with things much more easy…. At first I did get to see my children from time to time., but it always had to have strings attached. I would have to go meet up with my kids with Steph and have dinner or have to go to our old house and pick them up. The only problem with these was it always turned into her getting upset because she would try to get back with me. This really did stress me out because if I said no I would not see my children and she would get mad at me and drag them away… But if i said yes it would split me and my partner up and Stephs new partner (Who she was living with).

My answer was always “I don’t know, I have to think about things” and that would normally get me out of things. But sometimes it was so hard because my daughter would love seeing me and her mum together… I never did get back with her and nothing every happened… It was just emotional blackmail that she used that still effects me to this day.

My children are worth the world to me (All of them), but it is not fair to just make a relationship work just for your children. I knew we would never work, and i had tried for a very long time.

To put children through breakups and fights is just wrong, it is best to remove the situation and try to work things out straight away. Steph was in a new relationship and so was I… So why destroy her new partners life and my new partners?

When I finally made it very clear that I would never get back with her she started to do many evil things. She would tell me to pick my children up from my Mothers house and when I traveled there (2hs journey) they would not be there… This was very emotional for me as I had waited maybe 2-4 weeks for this day… And she would give me no explanation apart from “Don’t call me” or “Stay at your mums and ill drop them off tomorrow” which she did because she did not want me to be with my new partner.

She would also threaten me with taking my children away from my mother… if i never did things she would say “If you don’t, your mum will never see your children again” which she knew would effect me as my mother has issues of her own. This would also effect my Sister who is very much attached to my daughter and also has issues. She always knew what strings to pull with me… She would build me up to days I would see my children and then drag them away from me… She knew I could do nothing because anything “I” did is seen as bad in the eyes of the law… But anything she does is not believed in the eyes of the law.

She would make up lies, attack me a number of times and not tell me where my children were even living. My daughter one day even told me “Mummy told me you died and would not come back” which broke my heart.

With the whole situation I am in right now (Which I cant do into right now) it has made me see that to protect myself I have to remove myself from the situation until I can change it. This is very hard to do as my children are on my mind 24/7 along with my partner (Who I can no longer see).

I can no longer watch most TV shows because they remind me of family life, I cant listen to much music because it reminds me of my partner, and I have to watch what I read.

My whole life is on hold till the day I get to see my children and am able to move on from this situation I am in and have no control over.

One thing I always ask myself is “Has this changed me for the better?”, and my answer is “I don’t know” because I would kill for this not to have happened as it has been hell… But I have learnt so much and become so much stronger from this…

The only thing that kills me everyday is I know my children are out there right now… Not that far away from me… getting older and wiser…

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Breaking news! (Yea right)

So the time of reckoning is upon me…. And it sucks.

I had my court day today and even though it went as planned (Nothing big happened in court) when leaving a giant swarm of reporters and paparazzi flew in from the hills to catch me going to my solicitors car.

It was despicable the way they acted! They scared my mum half to death and she is still recovering.

I think the main reason for the intrusion is nothing to do with me… but to do with this “Fathers-4-Justice” tag I seem to have.

I am not a member of Fathers 4 Justice anymore and have not been for sometime (Not that I do not agree with anything they stand for).

I will be going through my old posts today and removing some posts I have made on my case. This is nothing to do with me or that I have anything to hide (I have talked about everything here) it is just that I suck at typing and my grammar is apaulling so I am worried some things may be taken out of context.

I did intend on taking this website down (As some of you have messaged me about) but I decided not to let these scaremongers win. Maybe this blog will do more harm then good… But its my only voice (And I enjoy it).

So yea, here is everything in black and white for anyone new readers or you stinking reporters:

Not Guilty!

And this whole farce is a waste of time and is ruining my life. If anyone has ANY questions please send them to me by email as I will not approve all comments anymore. I am taking a break from this for a day or two.

Also…. Everything here is has a copyright and may not be used by anyone without my permission!

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Alexa Ranking 247,763! Crazy

This past month has been crazy! I have had to renew my bandwidth twice, have to check my email every 30mins for all this amazing people emailing me, my “u drop, I follow” badge is getting bigger by the day… All this has happened since January.

Before January I had only a few thousand hits (If i was lucky) and only a few comments a week… Now I get tons of comments and too many hits that I can cope with.

I would love to thank so many people but as I can not mention many names I will have to hope you know who you are. the stories and situations you have all shared with me has been unforgettable. I thought my situation was bad but now I see that my case is just a small pin prick of what the police and Social Services have done to many families and children allover the UK.

I would also like to thank Entrecard for your amazing product and all the users who have got me to the top of the personal blogging section! No matter what happens, I hope that this amazing site can grow into the ultimate blogging force.

Here is my graph of my hits, one funny thing about it is that if you turn it upside down it also will show you how Social Services are doing in child welfare…. Weird!

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Tyrant Tuesday

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Goodbye my mother - Poem

Would a cry stop you? Think of what you will miss
Don’t let them take me mummy, Don’t make this our last kiss,
We can be together, I’ll be a good girl you will see,
I don’t understand, why don’t you want to be with me?

Don’t say goodbye, just hold me tight,
Don’t let them drag me away, please fight,

Promise you will come for me, promise me somehow,
Goodbye my mother, Social Services have me now,

A poem about the twisted and evil scandal that is England’s Social Services. The evil people stealing our children for a paycheck.

Please read my last post for more info on this and why I wrote this.

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Titanic Ending - Poem

Hearts on an anchor, sinking really fast,
To tired to fight it, hope the pain wont last,
Drowning in my sea of tears, I can’t fight anymore,
Looking at the pictures, the ones that I adore,

I can’t hear the words down here, not that they’re spoken,
Can’t be held down here, because they’ve all been taken,
Can’t feel my heart anymore, because its now been broken,
Can’t go out anymore, because the world wont open,

I’m sick of all my problems, there to big for me to see,
I’m sick of all our problems, they are bigger then even me,
I want to find the answers, but I also want to hide,
I hate thinking about myself, so I lock you all outside,

Don’t ask me if I am ok anymore, I never will be,
It’s tattooed on my forehead, now everyone can see,
They ripped a piece of me, and threw it to the dogs,
I’m not the one who did wrong, you will answer to your gods,

This book is not yet finished, but its been nice reading,
We all know one thing for sure, its not a happy ending,

{{ccpoem}}

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