First of all I would like to take a bit of time to explain that I love all of my children and would do anything for them. This is just a question for everyone, and I will try to explain things as easy as I can with my lack of English skills.

My mother is going to see my two Children on Sunday as it was my Son Jack’s Birthday. She has not seen them for awhile as she is heavily depressed, and finds it hard enough getting out of bed lately.

She just told me that my Ex ex (Steph) has asked me to send some money over. I would love to send money to my children but have now been told  by my Solicitors to keep money I would normally send my children and put it into a savings account.

The reason I am so stuck with this situation is because I feel like “Why the hell should I send money” but i also see the “They are your children” which is why I did send them money before… And ended up paying TWICE as my ex ex lied about me sending money.

I have not seen my Son for over a year now, I never get a Chirstmas card, Birthday card, Fathers day card or even photos… but my ex still expects me to do everything a normal father would do… but I don’t get anything a father should get.

Even before all the crap that is going on in my life started she was a evil bitch. I had my Daughter who was “3″ at the time tell me “Mummy told me you was dead”! And then I had them used as pawns to get me to do everything she wanted. Read more »

Its my Son jacks birthday…. Ive not seen him for over a year now and from what I am told I would not even recognise him if I did see him (A lot like my daughter who I have never seen). I don’t really like to find out much about him any more, so when my mum goes to see him I try not to let her tell me much… It is not that I don’t care about him… It is just I cant bare to know what I am missing and I find it hard enough coping without my children let alone knowing all the wonderful things I am missing.

The last time I held Jack he could not walk, talk and was only just growing teeth, he was the most quite baby I have ever known… He looked just like me apart from his amazing eyes which he got from his mother (See I can say nice things about her). I always remember how Faith (My eldest daughter) use to take toys off him and he would get mad and grab them back. He would scream at her and make her know she cant boss him around… I wonder how they get on now.

The last time I tried to give any of my children any money I had it thrown in my face. I was told not to bother and had a Solicitor patronise me about how it MAY LOOK in court. So I guess i shall just have to put the money aside from now on. Id love to buy him things but the truth is I don’t know if I could even look at toys for him… Let alone buy him anything.

Happy Birthday Jack, I will try to make it up to you one day.