Its been awhile since I really gave a update on the happenings in my life. I have no real idea why I have stopped but I do intend on keeping this blog a personal blog and not a review or random blog.

A few weeks back I went to London to meet up with my solicitors. I was meant to be in court a few days later but when I got there they told me it was cancelled.
This was not exactly new news to me because they told me they needed more time to get things done. I told them I was NOT happy with it and that I wanted it to happen anyway… But yet again no one listens to me and they did what they thought was best.

This sort of explains a few things like why Laina (my ex) has become the new bitch and why she never bothered meeting my Dad while he was in the UK from Portugal.

I have been online a lot less lately. i have a few things in the works that me and some friends are working on. I mentioned a few weeks back that I had some book/poetry deals in the works and they looks to be coming along nicely and as soon as I can I’ll post some updates.

Some of my friends are also in court in the near future. I wish them luck and hope things go as expected.

Its now been a whole f***ing year since all this crap started. I have come a long way since it first smacked me in the face and have learnt a lot on my travels. I am a totally different person to who I was when this started… I do not know if I ever will be the same again… and I do not know if I want to be.
I am in some respects a much happier person now. I can cope with close to anything that is handed to me… I also have a very close bunch of friends who I know I am depend on now.

I have met some fantastic people on my journey, and would say that some I hope to know my whole life. I have also learnt a lot about myself which I do not think I would have found out if this had not happened. I have learnt to look after myself and learnt who the most important people in my life.

What the future holds

I have a few paths that I have paved out that I can take in the future. Both paths all lead me to fighting for all of my children and doing everything I can to making the people who have done this pay… So I guess that is a good thing.

One path (Which is the one id like to take) would be me working with a few close friends and building up a support network for people going through situations like I am and situations that I was going through before this whole thing started. The people I am working with have put quite a bit of money and time into this, and with or without my help will make it possible.
One of my contacts has been filming a TV show which aired a few days back has expressed a lot of interest in a few of the people involved in this, and I hope something can grow out of this.

The next path is a more relaxed path. It is a path that is not totally to my making as someone very close to be is willing me to take it.
It would entail me just working on seeing my children and then dealing with everything that has happened to me. I guess this would be a very emotional path to take which I do not know if I am ready to do… I feel if I stop and settle down now I will never be able to regain some of the things I have helped to create.

Which ever path I take I am sure it will be the right one…

This is following my post of “What is blogging now” and now I’d like to talk about how real blogging can cause a lot of problems.

Many real bloggers blog about how their personal life is and generally rant about whatever is on their mind. I have seen some people lose jobs, lose loved ones, and ruin their lives through blogging.
This could be a risk that keeps bloggers going and a way to live on the edge… Or it could be their only real way of expressing themselves in their own way.

I know for a fact that my blogging has caused a lot of problems in my life… I still have not seen the brunt of it yet… But without it I really don’t think id be here today. It has been such a good way to get my emotions and built up anger out without really causing any immediate damage.

I hope one day a lot of the issues my blog has caused will one day turn around and my children will be able to see that I have been thinking of them and maybe my ex’s will be able to see that I am sorry for any problems I may have caused.

I also hope that if everything does turn to shit even worse than it is now, that maybe people will be able to read up on how things have gone. I have many posts that are not yet published , they are on scheduled posts in case this does happen. Hopefully they will never see the light of day. This is one big reason I have paid for 5 years of hosting and will soon backdate my .com for 10 years.

I am not a drinker, smoker, drug user, and I try my best to keep myself from acting out… I guess blogging and writing (no matter how good or bad I am at it)  is a new way for people like me to destress…. Well I hope so.

I hope that this is what blogging will be used for more and more… and we will get to see people change their lives and see them go through the life changing events…. Or just watch them show us their views and let us debate them.

This is one of the key selling points for any real blogger! You can watch them evolve and see how their lives change. It is sort of like a Reality TV show… but you really do get to see what these people think…

I know many bloggers who I talk to wish sometimes they never published their real name… I know I have wished this many time (And will lots more). Some have managed to do this and have become really famous for it (i.e. girl with a one track mind), but it can backfire as when you get the fame more and more people want to know the real you.

If you have had any bad effects from blogging let me know Id love to share all mine but I am sure id just cause lots more through sharing them.