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My children are pawns in a never ending game
So much has happened to me over the years and it is really hard for me to see what my life used to be like. When me and Steph split up 2 years ago, it was a real hard time for me. I was without my children and lost everything I owned. I was lucky enough to have a amazing new partner who made dealing with things much more easy…. At first I did get to see my children from time to time., but it always had to have strings attached. I would have to go meet up with my kids with Steph and have dinner or have to go to our old house and pick them up. The only problem with these was it always turned into her getting upset because she would try to get back with me. This really did stress me out because if I said no I would not see my children and she would get mad at me and drag them away… But if i said yes it would split me and my partner up and Stephs new partner (Who she was living with).
My answer was always “I don’t know, I have to think about things” and that would normally get me out of things. But sometimes it was so hard because my daughter would love seeing me and her mum together… I never did get back with her and nothing every happened… It was just emotional blackmail that she used that still effects me to this day.
My children are worth the world to me (All of them), but it is not fair to just make a relationship work just for your children. I knew we would never work, and i had tried for a very long time.
To put children through breakups and fights is just wrong, it is best to remove the situation and try to work things out straight away. Steph was in a new relationship and so was I… So why destroy her new partners life and my new partners?
When I finally made it very clear that I would never get back with her she started to do many evil things. She would tell me to pick my children up from my Mothers house and when I traveled there (2hs journey) they would not be there… This was very emotional for me as I had waited maybe 2-4 weeks for this day… And she would give me no explanation apart from “Don’t call me” or “Stay at your mums and ill drop them off tomorrow” which she did because she did not want me to be with my new partner.
She would also threaten me with taking my children away from my mother… if i never did things she would say “If you don’t, your mum will never see your children again” which she knew would effect me as my mother has issues of her own. This would also effect my Sister who is very much attached to my daughter and also has issues. She always knew what strings to pull with me… She would build me up to days I would see my children and then drag them away from me… She knew I could do nothing because anything “I” did is seen as bad in the eyes of the law… But anything she does is not believed in the eyes of the law.
She would make up lies, attack me a number of times and not tell me where my children were even living. My daughter one day even told me “Mummy told me you died and would not come back” which broke my heart.
With the whole situation I am in right now (Which I cant do into right now) it has made me see that to protect myself I have to remove myself from the situation until I can change it. This is very hard to do as my children are on my mind 24/7 along with my partner (Who I can no longer see).
I can no longer watch most TV shows because they remind me of family life, I cant listen to much music because it reminds me of my partner, and I have to watch what I read.
My whole life is on hold till the day I get to see my children and am able to move on from this situation I am in and have no control over.
One thing I always ask myself is “Has this changed me for the better?”, and my answer is “I don’t know” because I would kill for this not to have happened as it has been hell… But I have learnt so much and become so much stronger from this…
The only thing that kills me everyday is I know my children are out there right now… Not that far away from me… getting older and wiser…
| 3.4 (4 people) |
Subscribe to the comments for this postHuman Rights Day - Fathers have no rights
Bloggers unite for one day!
All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood. ”
—Article 1 of the United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights
I have never really been someone who has been a big fan of human rights (In the legal sense) and all the effects it has had on many aspects of life. A lot of people have abused it and still do till this day.
The last year has shown me how we have taken many of the problems from the past like “Multiculturalism” and the effects it has had in the UK. We have also fixed the problems of women’s rights and some of the problems disabled people have… But we have now ruined many of the things that were perfectly fine before by fixing the problems of the past.
One of my human rights is “To have a family” but this has been taken away from me by the government and legal system. All humans are meant to be equal no matter of sex, colour, age, disability… So why are so many fathers ripped away from their children and put through the torture of court battles, cafcass reports, social service involvement just to be able to see their own children for a few days a year?
Do you think it could have anything to do with the millions of pounds the courts, cafcass, and Social Services make from this? What would happen if all parents could solve these problem with out courts, or services? They would just die out and would shrink in size along with the blood sucking solicitors.
This country has taken away mine and my children’s basic human rights and replaced them with cash. they turn parents against each other with threats of removing children and putting them up for adoption, and then hide behind the family court system which keeps all this under raps with the threat of prison if you talk about it. The whole media know about this but are powerless on reporting it. I have talked to many producers who have even made TV shows on it only to have them pulled by threats of legal issues.
So, on TV you see how great the UK is meant to be… How were meant to be so good on human rights… But the truth is were no better then China or anyone else… We have just found a better way of hiding it.
- How social services are paid bonuses to snatch babies for adoption
- We must reform Family Courts and Family Law
- Cafcass are “inadequate” its official
- Cafcass responds to the Ofsted report
- Wiki page on Human Rights
Here are just a few articles from hundreds.
I could blog about the many thousand of people being murdred or the ongoing abuse of human rights in china… But I know many other bloggers will touch on this subject today… So as many of my readers know about my problems I thought this would be a good time to highlight the evergrowing problem fathers are having these days worldwide.
| 3.6 (3 people) |
NATIONAL FATHERLESS DAY RALLY
As many of my readers know I am a member of Fathers-4-Justice. The past week I have been talking to a member of F4J-US and he told me about this idea he has. I think its amazing as it is not just for all of us Fathers but for everyone. Many children these days grow up in single family homes and many feel that they never get to know their fathers. Many grow up thinking that their father may not love or even care for them… This may be the case for many… But what many people do not know is in many countries Fathers are pushed out of the family home by mothers and authorities. It is much more easy to just push the father out then to work on having BOTH parents help in looking after the child… I feel this is unfair and I am sick of hearing the same story time and time again from loving fathers who phone me crying and email me with the same stories but different names.
This event is NOT just for fathers! We need to change peoples views and we all need to do it together… Not just for ourselves but for our children and our children’s children.
If you have ever known someone who has been effected by a fatherless home please help with this. Even if it is just displaying a badge showing your support or actually joining the cause… Everything helps.
On June the 13th is Fatherless Day and in many city’s and towns around the US and maybe the UK (And more) there will be rallies organised by fellow F4J members. Please show all your support.
Don’t let the bad Dads effect us, we want to be fathers…
To show your support please display this badge. You can link here or to the www.fathers-4-justice.us
PDFS
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=YVXX07QD -Grayscale
http://www.megaupload.com/?d=E5Z6ZAN4 - Colour
Please read the F4J-US statement and help us.
People think I am sexist….
I have had tons of emails now from women saying I am a sexist pig (Among other things), and I do not understand the bond that women have with their children (And men don’t?).
I wish some of these people would stop with the emails and comment because its much more easy to get a sort of debate going… But no… you hide behind some fake email and expect me to make a post on the subject… Well here you go… I gave in.
I am in NO way sexist, and for you to say the things you say in your emails I would say your the sexist pigs. I believe in equal rights for all sex’s and that is ALL I have asked for! Nothing more… I do not believe it is best for a Father to look after his children on his own, just like I don’t think a Mother should on her own too… I do not think a mother should get custody of the children just based on her sex… Because I think that is sexist!
I hate it how Women can get away with saying anything but as soon as a man even tries to point out anything sexist then you get a bunch of men haters trying to cut your balls off.
Please please… Explain what I have said that is sexist… And I shall change my ways… Because I do not want to be like that… But maybe you should also look at your views… And maybe you should look at things from our point of views like we did 30 years ago…
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Fathers “have no rights” (Law)
A British Court has ruled that a child is so purely the sole property of the mother that she can unilaterally decide to conceal its existence from the father (unless, of course, she unilaterally decides that she’d rather get child support from him).
The court held that “the father’s rights were not violated because he did not have any to violate.”
The underlying legal principle is clear and simple: Women have rights; men have responsibilities!
Quote #1: But the Court of Appeal ordered the local authority not to take any action to inform the father. … Lady Justice Arden said the father’s rights had not been violated because he did not have any to violate. John Baker, chairman of Families Need Fathers, said “It treats the child as the property of the mother, to be disposed of as she sees fit.”
Quote #2: Fathers 4 Justice barrister Michael Cox said: “This father is the victim of a wicked deceit in which the State has been complicit. “It is now clear that the Government believes children have no entitlement to a relationship with their fathers and that children are the property of their mothers and of the State.”
Full Story here
BBC Story here
My Comments:
I don’t see what they are trying to protect children from. A mother has as much capabilities to do harm to a child as a Father… We also can love and have the same feelings for our own children as a Mother can. I hate it that were thought of as another species and cant love our own children as much as a mother… Its rubbish and sexist.
Any man would want to know if he had a child, maybe there are bad fathers out there but there are also mothers who dump their children in bins, and do worse things just like a father can. It should not be about what sex you are but should just be about the child and both people bringing that child up and giving the child the best life possible
This government is creating a problem that does not need to be, we are creating a fatherless culture that could take generations to fix. I do not think that a mother bringing up a child on her own is a bad thing, but I do think that if a father wants to help and be there for the child he should be able to and NOT get any stick from the government or the Mother.
I see so many willing Fathers cry when they think of their own children as they are forced to give up on them. They are forced to pay money for a child they never see but would die too see.
I hate it that we are just seen as a tool to just make the baby and then pay for the child, but the love and feelings we can offer are thrown in our faces and we just have to sit there and take it…. Because we have no rights.
We do not love in some 3rd world country, we love in England! 30 years Women have had the same rights as us… Now we have less then them. Now who is being sexist?
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