Its been awhile since I really gave a update on the happenings in my life. I have no real idea why I have stopped but I do intend on keeping this blog a personal blog and not a review or random blog.

A few weeks back I went to London to meet up with my solicitors. I was meant to be in court a few days later but when I got there they told me it was cancelled.
This was not exactly new news to me because they told me they needed more time to get things done. I told them I was NOT happy with it and that I wanted it to happen anyway… But yet again no one listens to me and they did what they thought was best.

This sort of explains a few things like why Laina (my ex) has become the new bitch and why she never bothered meeting my Dad while he was in the UK from Portugal.

I have been online a lot less lately. i have a few things in the works that me and some friends are working on. I mentioned a few weeks back that I had some book/poetry deals in the works and they looks to be coming along nicely and as soon as I can I’ll post some updates.

Some of my friends are also in court in the near future. I wish them luck and hope things go as expected.

Its now been a whole f***ing year since all this crap started. I have come a long way since it first smacked me in the face and have learnt a lot on my travels. I am a totally different person to who I was when this started… I do not know if I ever will be the same again… and I do not know if I want to be.
I am in some respects a much happier person now. I can cope with close to anything that is handed to me… I also have a very close bunch of friends who I know I am depend on now.

I have met some fantastic people on my journey, and would say that some I hope to know my whole life. I have also learnt a lot about myself which I do not think I would have found out if this had not happened. I have learnt to look after myself and learnt who the most important people in my life.

What the future holds

I have a few paths that I have paved out that I can take in the future. Both paths all lead me to fighting for all of my children and doing everything I can to making the people who have done this pay… So I guess that is a good thing.

One path (Which is the one id like to take) would be me working with a few close friends and building up a support network for people going through situations like I am and situations that I was going through before this whole thing started. The people I am working with have put quite a bit of money and time into this, and with or without my help will make it possible.
One of my contacts has been filming a TV show which aired a few days back has expressed a lot of interest in a few of the people involved in this, and I hope something can grow out of this.

The next path is a more relaxed path. It is a path that is not totally to my making as someone very close to be is willing me to take it.
It would entail me just working on seeing my children and then dealing with everything that has happened to me. I guess this would be a very emotional path to take which I do not know if I am ready to do… I feel if I stop and settle down now I will never be able to regain some of the things I have helped to create.

Which ever path I take I am sure it will be the right one…

What is blogging now? When I first started back in 2001 it was just a way to log your daily lives or moan about something that effects you… You had big company workers writing up about how their company sucked, people trying to work out their own issues… These days its turned into a way for people to claim how much money they make and write up paid reviews. Blogging has lost its personality and is now just turning into the old websites we had crammed down our necks.

Can you really tell me the difference between a website and a blog now? You could have a few years ago but now… You will be hard pushed to look up on a blog directory and not have the biggest “blogs” be marketing type or some form of sales type website.

I only read a few blogs now, mainly because no one apart from a few really do blog, you see no real personality behind the blog apart from someone rubbing their hands together trying to find some sneaky way of getting some extra dollars out of you.

The reason I was wondering is this I just checked my RSS reader and went through all my feeds and cleaned out everything that sucked… I am now down to only 4 feeds!

1. One of them is a clasic (PostSecret) which is all about real blogging (With pics).
2. The other is a blog I found around a year ago and has one of the biggest real personalitys around (Rebellious Arab Girl ®).
3. The other is a blog I sadly need to really catch up on Its called I am You and was one of my fave reads a quite a few months back… I really need to go back and atch up (Like I do with Rebellios)
4. The next is a blogger/Auther/Comic Aurther (Neil Gaiman’s Journal) who always manages to amaze me. He has no real need to blog but does it for the sole reason of what Blogging is meant to be about… Expressing yourself.

I did have a lot of feeds from very good authers… Sadly most have now closed or just died Did they die from just personal reasons? Maybe… But I also think its because these real blogs get less exposure and no real way to find blogs to connect too.
Yes you have many sites such as BlogCatalog and Entrecard to use… But they get flooded with spam and end up being run with the “Blog v2″ spam sites and just old fasioned websites but with a blog identity.

So this is just something for everyone to think about:

Are you really running a blog? (Blog = Web Log)